One of the disheartening things in preparing for Chris’ deployment was that we got a lot of comments wondering how we were ever going to make it through or people sharing their worst stories about a friend they once knew whose life fell apart after deployment. It’s amazing to consider that someone might think the best things to tell us are the latest divorce rates in the military while looking at us with woeful eyes. This isn’t to say that these comments came from friends or family; mostly they came from unaware strangers who heard what we were facing.
Somewhere in the midst of these conversations I allowed myself to fall into a pattern of trying to convince people that we would make it through. I used all the cliché phrases like “we know it will be hard, but we’ll be okay” and “It’ll be challenging, but God is good” and I still say those things now from time to time. As true as those statements are, I felt like I needed to convince people around me that our marriage could survive deployment, taking on a passive nature to the conversation that in a roundabout way gave credence to their thoughts or those ever-popular statistics. Or maybe I just allowed myself to think that their comments needed as woeful an answer as the comment itself had been initially said to us. But, that was not where my heart was at. My heart was sure.
Then, I started thinking about David and the posture with which he faced Goliath. If you haven’t read the story of David and Goliath in the Bible, you should. It’s a good one! You can find it in 1 Samuel 17 and I have been thinking about that story quite a bit lately. David had no business even being at the battlefield, let alone on it, yet he took on this ogre of a man and he did it with unabashed confidence. His words are a battle cry, not an apology or an attempt to convince anyone of anything. It was victory being proclaimed before the battle had even begun because he believed in the victory whole-heartedly.
Now, that resonates with me as I think about our marriage over the next year! I have told a few people in the past couple of months that I am passionately ticked off fighting to prove that the army and deployment do not have to be a horrific season in a marriage. I want to be able to stand with others in the future and tell them that it is hard, but it is also good. I want to have a story to share that inspires hope and confidence because of what God has done with us. Sure, Chris and I see the giant; we are not naïve about what we’re up against…this giant is looking us square in the eyes, taunting us with little communication, loneliness, frustration, lack of understanding, impatience, busyness. We don’t deny the giant is there and we don’t pretend that it isn’t HUGE. What we do is proclaim victory over it in the name of the Lord!
David looked Goliath in the eyes and said “You come to me with a sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty…” (1 Sam 17:45)
I want to say to our giant called Deployment “You come at us from all sides with things small and large, but we come with the Lord God as our foundation, our Mighty Rock, our Fortress, our Strength, our Deliverer. We will NOT be taken down, but the Lord will be GLORIFIED!”
I will no longer try to convince people that our marriage will be okay, I will proclaim that it will be strengthened and sure. Victory is imminent because the Lord is on our side and we will not be shaken (psalm 62:6). Bumps along the way? Sure. Hard times ahead? Absolutely. Frustrating moments? Yup, still there.
Defeat? A resounding NO WAY!
In the short time that Chris has been away, we already see God at work in each of us individually and even in our marriage. We are looking for the ways we see Him working because we EXPECT Him to. We are excited to see what He does and that gives us eyes passionate for our own growth and how that will play out in our relationship with one another.
There will be hilltops and valleys over the next 10 months, but in the heights as well as the depths, we will praise Him because He has set our foot on a rock and given us a firm place to stand (Psalm 40:2)! Chris and I move forward one step at a time with confidence and anticipation, watching to see how the Lord moves in our lives and in our marriage. Praise be to the Lord that we can stand in great victory because of His awesome name!
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