Dozer Days - Finally!

We have this event right by our house each year that is every little boys' (and probably most big boys') dream come true. They haul every kind of heavy equipment vehicle (diggers as the boys call them) you can imagine into one huge rock quarry and let the kids climb in them and actually work them. It is really amazing.

For the past two years, Chris has been on his army drill weekend during Dozer Days and hasn't been able to go. This year, he finally made it!! Brody was so excited to show daddy the diggers that he now considers himself a pro at working. This year was also big because it was the first year that Brody could actually get on the working diggers (kids have to be 4 - or almost in Brody's case). This has been something we have been looking forward to for a long time now; that we could all go together. It was CRAZY, but we managed to get in a dump truck ride, Brody got to dig and we saw a few other things in the midst of an insane crowd.

I am so incredibly glad that Chris got to go with us this year - it's one thing that has squeaked in before he leaves that we have been looking forward to. Brody is already excited for next year and now, when Chris sees the pictures, he will be able to feel like he's there with us a little bit more since he got to be there this year. Yay!

Sitting in the back of a giant dump truck

The boys just checkin it all out...well, at least Brody was

Caleb's ready to work with daddy!

Brody's digging!!

He was so serious - concentrating hard on scooping up that dirt!

A Shift

In the past couple of weeks, the emotions Chris and I are experiencing have gone from waiting mode to impending. Our time has suddenly shifted from deployment being far away to it feeling more real and, at times, right around the corner. Chris has begun spending more time at his unit in preparation; getting paperwork in order, finalizing flight plans, beginning to learn the language. Those things on top of the school year winding down all bring a sense of reality to his leaving.

I heard a song come on the radio yesterday called Just a Kiss (Lady Antebellum) and I can’t even tell you any of the other lyrics because the title alone brought me to tears. I began counting how many more days I have left to kiss Chris good morning or good night and felt the weight of all the time ahead that I would not be able to do those things. The reality for us right now is that there is no such thing as *just* a kiss or *just* holding hands. Each of those things has changed from being a part of our daily life to treasured moments before we no longer have the opportunity for quite some time.

It is also amazing in the midst of these emotions how much we can experience the one-ness that God designed for marriage. Chris got home last night and had also had a hard day processing deployment. We share in our struggle and are connected in it and through it. Thankfully, with our boys we have some comic relief built into every day. Last night was no exception…

Brody put on quite the amazing show for us. A few weeks back, he got to go with grandma to see his Auntie Betsy in a play at her high school (Pirates of Penzance) and ever since then we have  been attending plays in our house almost nightly with a pretty humorous pirate playing all the roles. So, last night, Chris and I got to be in the audience waiting for the curtains to open and watch the most precious growling pirate come on stage. Any other day, this would have simply been a hysterical, funny moment to enjoy, but through the lens of deployment, it was bitter-sweet as we both realized it was moments like this that will be missed for more than a year. We let that little pirate “Arrrrghhhh” his way right through to bedtime!

Hope

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.  1 Cor. 13:7

These words are water to my soul today! It is only Wednesday, but it feels like this has already been a long week; or maybe it is already a long month. We are in the home-stretch for Chris’ school year, so there is open house and lots of other ends to tie up all while keeping up with his ever-changing military schedule. He has quite a bit of training and other things for the army over the next few weeks. I can barely keep up with where he will be and when, let alone when we will have a date night or good family fun time. Deployment has been weighing on Chris a bit more than normal this week and that takes its toll on all of us. It is something that comes and goes in this season of preparation.

We are just plain tired. But, Chris and I are fighters. I mean that in the best possible ways; we fight to maintain boundaries for our family, we fight to remain connected to one another, we fight to hold fast to the things in life we believe in and want to be about. We recognize that we are at war in this world and some days we are more battle-weary than others. But, then I read this verse and it just gives my heart the little boost it needs to make it through today.

Never giving up and never losing faith is something that Chris and I work hard to cultivate and, at this point comes fairly easy for us. As I said above, we are fighters. It is being always hopeful and the promise of endurance that brings refreshment. I am a person that can plow ahead so hard for so long that I hit a wall feeling like despair. But, there is always Hope and with that one word I feel myself sigh with relief. There is hope in the One that created us, the One who brought Chris and I together and gave us our beautiful, amazing kiddos, the One that calls each of us to our purpose. And this amazing God is our stronghold in battle and our refuge in times of need. Ahhh…Hope.

I have a feeling I will revisit this verse a lot over the next year and I pray that hope will always remain strong in me.