In the aftermath of our good-byes with Chris (of which I will write more at another time), and the ups and downs of emotions for the past three weeks, I am surprised how often I find myself thinking in language of gratitude. This might be due, in part, to the fact that our teaching series at church has been focused on choosing gratitude, but I would also like to believe that it is God’s overwhelming kindness in showing me a sliver of His abundant grace.
Today is three weeks from the day that we dropped Chris off at the airport. So, through a bit of tears on this Thanksgiving, I thought I would share a few of the things I am particularly grateful for this year…
My Amazing Husband – It is hard to express the amount of pride I feel in who Chris is and all that he does. As a husband, Chris loves me exactly how I need him to, even in those moments when I am hard to love, and he challenges me to live up to who he knows me to be. As a dad, I could not ask for a better partner to raise my kids with. He loves deeply, plays hard, disciplines fairly and watching him with Brody and Caleb absolutely melts my heart. As a teacher, he reaches teenagers in a way that I have rarely, if ever, seen before. His students respect him, trust him, look up to him, laugh with him and learn from him in ways that astound me. As a soldier, Chris is passionate about his country, ready to do whatever is needed to further something that he believes deeply in. Being so incredibly proud of your spouse is one of the greatest feelings in the world and I am thankful he lives his life in such a way that pride comes easily for me.
Our Marriage – In those moments when I am missing Chris the most, when it feels like my heart is physically hurting I often have this thought…”I am so glad that our marriage is solid enough that I miss him this much.” I am beyond grateful to be passionately in love with my husband and to have the kind of relationship where I miss him even if he is only gone one night. If I didn’t love him so much, I wouldn’t miss him so much and that gives me perspective in the times when being away from him is just plain hard.
Trials – God tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials. I am so excited to see and experience all that God does in each of us over the next year. It is in challenging times that God often does the greatest work and Chris and I are already seeing the ways that God is stretching each of us. This year, I will grow as a child of God, as a wife, as a mom, and as a friend, especially through the times when it is most difficult or hurts the most.
Our Boys – Oh, man, these two little guys absolutely slay me. Brody has the most sensitive heart, creative imagination and NEVER stops talking. I am blessed by the way he loves Jesus and so readily prays for everyone. Caleb is a fascinating mix of spunk, independence and such great snuggles. He is playful and so, so funny. These boys are proving to be such good little troopers in this deployment and I am blown away by them every single day.
My Jesus – There is none like You. No one else can touch my heart like You do. I could search for all eternity long, and find, there is none like You. There are no amount of words that can accurately express all that Jesus has done for me in my life. Gratitude and praise will be forever on my lips and it still won’t be enough for the God of the universe who loves me deeply, far beyond what I deserve.
The amazing thing about thankfulness is that once I begin to think about all that I am blessed with, it is hard to find an end to the list. Gratitude begets more gratitude and on and on it goes. So, in the midst of missing Chris and my heart aching for him today, I will choose gratitude and know that we have so much to be thankful for. I am immeasurably blessed and that humbles me.
