Deployment Month 4+

This update is coming over two weeks late for the 4-month mark. Maybe that says everything that needs to be said about this month! It was a very full month and a half for us; full of good things and full of challenges. Here’s a brief re-cap:

·         The boys were sick for a week and a half straight – First, Brody with a stomach bug, Caleb with an ear infection, and then both had upper respiratory infections, then another ear infection for Caleb. Oy!

·         My in-laws came up for a weekend visit which was wonderful! I felt bad because the weekend they arrived was when the boy’s sickness started. So, we stayed in and I was grateful for the extra hands in caring for the boys.

·         Caleb is now in his big-boy bed and the transition was a breeze – Woohoo!

·         The boys ran in the Fort Vancouver kid’s race and did amazing!! Brody was super competitive and Caleb did awesome for it being his first race. They each got a medal and everything; a great morning!

·         The boys had a fun painting time in their bath one night using shaving cream and food coloring. The artwork was amazing, but not nearly as good as the laughter and smiles!

·         It feels like forever ago, but we did actually have a few sunshiny days here where we got out and played outside. One day, we even headed down to the beach right by our house and played and played and played. It was another great morning with my boys!

·         A little over a week ago, we had to put our 14-year old cat down. It was so hard even though it was the right decision. Sweet Brody reminded us that we have loved ones in heaven already that will take good care of Charlie. =)

·         I found out that one of the boy’s teachers will be moving on to a new ministry at the end of May and while I am so happy for her, my heart is already grieving her absence in the boy’s lives. She has taught both of the boys, but more than that she has consistently prayed for them and taught them about Jesus and they absolutely adore her (as do Chris and I). I also found out that our family doctor is closing this month – finding the right doctor for our family has never been easy, so losing him as our doctor is a hard transition as well.

·         I adjusted my work hours to have one more day at home with the boys which they LOVE and I LOVE! I am looking forward to starting up some fun activities with them in this newly expanded home time.

 

 

I know I didn’t get it all in there, but at least you get a glimpse of our month. Possibly because of all of that, I also found this month to be a real challenge emotionally for me and I feel more raw than I have up to this point. I am missing Chris like crazy these days and just longing to connect with him. The phone calls are infrequent and our chat time online is usually pretty limited as well. I am glad he is keeping busy, but I feel his absence acutely right now. I am sure this is probably quite normal for being mid-deployment. Of course, it is also probably because I am smack dab in the middle of a season of attitude training with Caleb. I am navigating issues with him that we didn’t have with Brody just because they are such different little people. There are some days it is tiring to remain consistent with Caleb. He tries my patience to the very raw edges, pushing me to my limit and then in the next moment does something so sweet or funny that I can’t stay upset for too long! I know from going through a season of discipline with Brody at about this same age, that the payoff of consistent parenting is absolutely worth it, but it is so much more difficult when you don’t have another parent to share the experience with or step in when I am frayed.

I am tired…tired of being alone, tired of parenting alone and just plain tired at the end of most days. BUT, I feel surrounded by the prayers of many people and the good days far outweigh the hard ones. So, thank you for your continued support of our family. Thank you for reminding Chris that he is not forgotten through care packages, mail and messages! Thank you for praying for us! We are incredibly blessed and I know that to the depth of my being even in the most trying of times.

I feel like this song by Kari Jobe (love her!) absolutely represents my heart right now…

If my heart is overwhelmed
And I cannot hear Your voice
I hold on to what is true
Though I cannot see

… Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
Lord I'm forever Yours

Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours
I am forever Yours